雖然很想要回台灣...有時候會捨不得.
捨不得會在這裡的朋友.
想到說要過了兩個半月才會看到一些人...
好難過喔真好捨不得...

maybe its just the way you make me feel.

this weekend made me both happy and sad. happy because i got to see so many of my friends, sad because i can't stay back at home with them. it's always really depressing to have to go back to san diego sometimes-now don't get me wrong, san diego really isn't bad-its the people i have to leave behind every time that makes me sad. but at the same time-its week 9. three more weeks and its summer! it makes me sad to know that i won't be seeing everyone during the summer-and i won't see some people next year because they're studying abroad/graduating. it's like i take all the time we spend together, or the time we could spend together for granted. like seriously, if there's one thing i can't handle, it's goodbyes. i think goodbyes are the most emotionally painful things a person has to go through.

reality comes crashing down. fml.
i'm tired. just. thoroughly done with everything.
i give up, i don't really care.
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i think i was born to be a fob! :) as a kid, i remember saying "mom can you open the light" & "mom can you close the light" instead of "mom can you turn on the light" and "mom can you turn off the light". innerfobness coming out! woohoo! :D :D
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i woke up in a crappy mood, can you tell? ==
blargh. so i'm going to attempt to cheer myself up by looking at videos that entertain me :)
i should go watch kodomo no omocha.



hands down the best anime ever. :) imo.

"輸了你贏了世界又如何?"
freshman year year at ucsd is winding down to an end, and looking back, time flies by faster than it ever did in high school, middle school & lower school. i remember stepping off the plane in july 2008, knowing that i would have to endure a long, very long summer before school would start. i remember wondering what my suitemates would be like, what dorm life would be like, what i'd need to bring with me, and what friends-what sort of people i'd end up hanging out with through college. in a blink of an eye, fall quarter, winter quarter, came to an end. and now, there's only four more weeks till freshman year is over.

i wanted to talk about how twisted the society is now, concerning kids + college. this is going to be more of a rant post about how schools are now overstressing the need to go to college. now, don't get me wrong, i believe going to a college or university is just as important as getting your 8 hours of sleep, eating meals on time...but today, while waltzing out of my ridiculous bio class, i saw a group of little kids that were probably around 10 years old. what is a class of a 10 year olds going on a college campus, taking a college tour? i mean, i can understand looking and visiting colleges when you're in high school, i mean, you are trying to find the perfect college/university for you after high school. but when you're ten, you're in lower school. is it really reasonable for kids to be listening to why they would enjoy the quarter system/semester system over the othe, the wide range of classes and majors at a campus, the library?! it's like before they're even teenagers, they're thrown into the stress of colleges. kids should be out frolicking in the sun, playing games, screwing around-basically, be a kid. it's ridiculous-throwing kids into this sort of environment.

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10 songs in my itunes that i enjoy listening to while stressing out/studying.
(because i already have 20 songs every playlist should have)
and i think i'll steal ideas from ken and youtube link the songs for you guys. keke.

1. 輸了你贏了世界又如何-林志炫
   terry lin is not human. his singing range and voice is just...wow. this song is one of many many songs that i stole from thomas that just sort of sat in my "new music that needs to be added" folder for a few months.
   
2. 美麗的神話 feat. 韓紅-孫楠
   one of my favorite duets. i've always heard this around somewhere, but i didn't know who sang it or what the name of the song was. i stole this song from sam. :) i like the harmony.
   
3. One Day - 平井堅 (no link available)
   this song came with a cd that magically appeared in my mom's lexus. i just like it, i dont know why. ahahahaha. "one day, i found you. tonight, i miss you"
   
4. 趁早-張宇
   another song that i heard somewhere that i didn't really know. until i was watching 新光大道一班, and saw a duet between 謝震廷&張宇 (that kid btw, is so adorable.) i like this song. :D
   
5. 口是心非-張雨生
   i didn't actually think too much about this song until after a couple too many times of hearing it in thomas' car. it sorta grows on you. but i like the song. ^^
   
6. 你不是真正的快樂-五月天
   i just happen to like this song. i dont know why. i just do. LOL. i guess i like the melody? :D
   
7. 니가 좋은 이유 (Why I like you) - Super Junior
   Le gasp, connie listens to suju? well not really, this one of the few songs i actually listen to by them, but i just happen to like the how upbeat the song is, and i think its just really cute.
   
8. 零-柯有綸
   mmm. no explanation needed.
   
9. Whiskey Lullaby Feat. Alison Krauss - Braid Paisley
   sad song, but i really like this song. its actually really sad, sorta reminds me of the old 'dear john' songs, with a completley different twist to it.
   
10. 請在我後悔之前離開我-飛輪海
    i've always liked this song, but when i threw myself into kpop, i sorta forgot about this song. now that i'm back into cpop, its nice to listen to this song
    
    
    maybe write more later. econ sucks ass.
    

the cliffs are a truely amazing place. its cathartic-at least for me it is. to roll around there and bathe in the sun, to tape a nap and laze there. i went there today to laze there, mostly to think, and mostly to enjoy the cool ocean breeze. while sitting there, staring nothing but blueness, it hit me that it's time for me to let go. 不想也不行. i can't let my past hold me back. i tell others that what's done is done, what has happened has happened and to let it go. and what a hypocrite i am. i can't even use my own advice. i haven't really actually let go-i've only avoided the problem. worst comes to worst, i'll get my closure, soon enough. i've waited a long time for it, i can wait another couple of months. it won't kill me. i promised myself out there today that i'd learn to let go, learn to let it all go away. it's holding me back, and i don't want to be anymore. i'm tired, i don't want to live in the past any longer.